Drapery Goddess Gets a TomTom

For Christmas this year, my parents gave me a TomTom. As I unwrapped the bright blue box, my first thought was, "Is this a comment on my navigational skills?" I have never asked for a GPS, never even hinted at one. MapQuest is good enough for me, thank you. And if I get REALLY lost, well, that's what the cellphone is for, right?

But there it was, and I had to face the fact that I was about to be dragged into the 21st century, kicking and screaming.

When I got home, the box sat on my coffee table, unopened, for about three days. When I finally condescended to open it, I was confident that I could get it to mess up in a big way. But first, I had to choose The Voice of my TomTom. After listening to all the pre-programmed multiple personalities, I finally settled on a girl with a polite, non-accented voice. (I can't imagine that any woman would want a man's voice telling her where to turn.) I tested my new toy on a location close to home. Voila! It had me driving in circles. Literally. Just as I thought--the TomTom had a much worse sense of direction than I did.

Turns out, if I tell her to NAVIGATE to a location instead of plan an itenerary, the TomTom will get me where I need to go. Lesson learned. The next step was to try to make her mad. I deliberately put in the wrong address to see what she would do if I ignored her directions.

Now, this was funny. The TomTom directed me to turn left, and I sailed right on. She didn't lose her temper, didn't get huffy--she just told me to turn left at the next intersection. After a couple of miles of the TomTom trying to save me from myself, she finally advised me to "turn around if possible." But she wasn't rude about it. And when I finished my errand, she didn't even hold a grudge. Now, this I like.

I won't exactly call myself a convert, but I am beginning to see possibilities with this thing. I must admit, she did save me about five minutes by plotting a shorter route to a client's house than the one I would have taken. And it would be nice to know when I was about to run into construction or a major accident. But if I'm going to keep her, I'll have to name her. Kinda reminds me of getting a puppy.